With
a
name
like
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct
you’d
be
forgiven
for
assuming
that
the
titular
gigantic
ape
would
be
the
star
of
the
show.
After
all,
who
doesn’t
want
to
play
as
a
huge
hairy
ape
beating
the
snot
out
of
other
massive
creatures?
Psych!
Despite
the
name,
Kong
and
his
Titan
pals
are
mostly
background
scenery
that
add
up
to
just
a
few
minutes
of
screen
time
across
the
4-6
hours
it
takes
to
play
through
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct.
But
could
that
be
a
good
thing?
I
mean,
last
year’s
Skull
Island:
Rise
of
Kong
let
you
play
as
the
big
boy
and
was
terrible.
The
short
answer
is
no,
it’s
not
a
good
thing.
While
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct
is
a
better
game
that
Skull
Island,
it’s
not
by
much.

So
if
you
aren’t
monkeying
around
(yes,
Kong
is
an
ape,
but
l’m
not
gonna
let
that
get
in
the
way
of
a
joke)
as
Kong,
what
exactly
are
you
doing?
Set
just
after
the
events
of
Godzilla
vs
Kong,
you
play
as
David
Martin
who
rushes
to
find
his
estranged
daughter
among
the
ruins
of
a
city
that
is
currently
under
attack
from
several
massive
creatures,
including
the
mighty
Kong.
Along
the
way
he
encounters
a
mercenary
group
called
the
Hyenas
and
takes
some
of
their
mystery
tech,
pissing
off
the
group
which
is
led
by
Alan
Jonah,
a
character
last
seen
in
Godzilla:
King
of
the
Monsters.

Available
On:
PC,
Xbox,
PlayStation,
Switch
Reviewed
On:
PS5
Developed
By:
7Levels
Published
By:
7Levels

Review
code
provided
by
the
publisher

Look,
the
Monsterverse
movies
are
not
known
for
their
stellar
writing
and
strong
characters.
While
they
certainly
have
their
moments,
most
people
could
not
care
less
about
humans
and
their
drama.
I
say
this
so
you
can
understand
what
I’m
about
to
say
to
the
fullest:
Survivor
Instinct
is
worse.
It’s
not
that
it’s
terribly
written
–
I’ve
read
a
lot
of
shitty
fanfiction,
including
50
Shades
of
Grey
–
it’s
just
that
there’s
barely
any
story
or
characters
anyway,
and
what’s
there
is
blander
than
beige
socks.
David
has
no
discernible
personality
and
the
few
other
humans
he
meets
are
instantly
forgettable.
Any
semblance
of
plot
comes
mostly
from
optional
documents,
so
if
you
don’t
read
those
the
story
is
that
David
wants
to
find
his
daughter,
he
climbs
over
a
lot
of
stuff,
and
then
the
game
abruptly
ends
in
an
unsatisfying
manner.

You
do,
at
least,
get
a
look
at
some
of
the
monsters
that
haven’t
been
featured
in
the
movies,
though,
such
as
the
horrifying
Abbadon
which
should
be
nuked
from
space.

Speaking
of
climbing
over
stuff,
let’s
chat
about
the
gameplay.
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct
is
a
2.5D
metroidvania,
albeit
a
very
simple
one.
David
starts
with
simple
skills
like
being
able
to
jump
1ft
off
the
ground
and
1ft
forward
(I
swear
the
man
has
concrete
in
his
shoes)
and
is
able
to
drag
boxes
around
like
a
boss.
Over
the
course
of
the
game,
David
picks
up
some
new
tools
to
help
out:
a
sledgehammer
that’s
equally
good
for
hitting
people
and
for
breaking
through
walls;
a
grappling
hook
to
reach
awkward
places;
and
a
gun,
for
shooting
faces
and
padlocks.

All
of
this
is
combined
into
some
very
basic,
plodding
platforming
and
puzzle
solving.
The
most
complex
it
gets
is
clambering
up
a
few
things
to
turn
on
a
generator
to
open
a
door
to
get
a
crate
to
bust
through
a
floor,
or
having
to
cycle
between
a
few
generators
to
open
the
right
doors
at
the
right
time.

It’s
not
even
that
it’s
bad
–
after
all,
it
mechanically
works
and
is
solid,
albeit
very
basic,
design
–
it’s
just
that
we’ve
done
all
this
hundreds
of
times.
Except,
we’ve
done
it
in
games
that
feel
smoother
and
faster,
that
take
those
basic
elements
and
build
on
them.
Perhaps
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct
is
aiming
for
a
slower
and
more
deliberate
pace
since
David
appears
to
be
a
middle-aged
man,
but
that
doesn’t
stop
it
from
feeling
so
sluggish,
and
the
puzzles
from
feeling
bland.
There’s
no
challenge,
no
sense
of
gratification
from
figuring
something
out
because
it’s
all
so
obvious.
What
you
do
in
the
first
hour
is
largely
identical
to
what
you
do
in
the
sixth,
just
with
a
few
extra
steps.

Without
a
shadow
of
a
doubt,
the
worst
part
of
the
game
is
the
combat.
David
can
block
incoming
attacks,
dash
to
avoid
bullets
and
grab
enemies
who
are
deflecting
his
strikes.
It’s
a
basic
selection
of
moves,
none
of
which
feel
good
because
of
how
slow
the
game
is.
Ranged
enemies
get
thrown
into
the
mix,
always
coming
in
behind
their
comrades
who
will
duck
down
so
they
can
let
off
a
shot.
It’s
like
the
world’s
worst
conga
line.
Thus,
the
basic
combat
loop
is
that
you
get
in
a
hit
or
two
to
make
the
enemy
block,
grab
them
for
another
hit
or
two
and
then
throw
them
toward
the
next
foe.
Time
it
right
and
the
ranged
enemy
will
shoot
his
pal
in
the
back.
One
or
two
random
new
enemy
types
show
up
from
time
to
time,
like
shield-bearers,
but
they
add
little
to
the
experience.

It’s
all
so
painfully
slow
and
cumbersome,
and
becomes
even
worse
when
enemies
come
at
you
from
both
sides
because
the
controls
and
mechanics
just
aren’t
built
for
it.
Each
attack
feels
weak
with
no
sense
of
impact.
Thankfully,
if
you’re
a
good
shot
you
can
smack
off
enemy
helmets
and
then
gun
them
with
with
a
quick
headshot
to
end
combat
quicker.

Let’s
circle
back
to
the
Titans,
the
hulking
behemoths
that
we
actually
want
to
see
in
action.
What
do
they
do
in
the
game?
Well,
two
things:
the
first
is
that
each
segment
is
themed
around
one
of
the
Titans,
slowly
building
up
to
a
clumsy
chase
sequence
where
you
have
to
awkwardly
run
away
from
a
rampaging
monster
as
it
wrecks
the
building
around
you.
These
sequences
are
certainly
the
most
exciting
moments
in
the
entire
game,
but
that’s
a
low
bar
to
jump
over.
The
biggest
issue
is
that
the
movement
isn’t
smooth
enough
nor
fast
enough
to
make
these
chases
enjoyable,
so
instead
of
running
for
your
life
it
feels
more
like
gently
jogging
away
from
a
persistent
salesmen
waving
a
flyer.

The
other
time
you
get
to
see
a
Titan
in
action
is
when
you
deliberately
summon
one
at
the
end
of
each
section
so
that
it
will
helpfully
demolish
an
obstacle
blocking
your
way.
Scattered
throughout
the
city
are
special
biometric
signals
that
you
collect
and
then
piece
together
in
a
clunky
mini-game.
You
need
to
gather
them
all
up
in
order
lure
the
Titan
to
the
area
so
that
you
can
advance.
Baiting
them
should
feel
like
a
big
moment,
but
it
really
doesn’t
–
there’s
very
little
sense
of
scale
or
power
from
these
monsters.
Nor
is
there
any
interactivity
in
these
sequences,
leaving
you
to
numbly
watch
for
a
few
seconds
before
you
get
back
to
dragging
crates
around.

I’m
coming
across
as
very
harsh
toward
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct,
so
let
me
address
that.
You
see,
it’s
not
a
truly
bad
game.
I’ve
played
truly
bad
games
and
compared
to
those
Survivor
Instinct
is
like
a
sweet
peck
on
the
lips.
But
in
some
ways,
it’s
also
worse
than
those
terrible
games
because
it’s

boring.
Horrible
games
and
amazing
games
have
something
in
common:
they
are
interesting
to
experience.
A
truly
god-awful
game
is
at
least
interesting
to
pick
apart
and
talk
about
in
the
same
way
that
a
great
one
is,
too.
But
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct
is
just
dull
from
start
to
finish.
There’s
nothing
to
talk
about,
from
its
non-existent
story
to
its
lifeless
gameplay.

No.
I
tell
a
lie.
There
is
one
interesting
decision
that
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct
makes,
and
that’s
to
barely
feature
Kong
and
the
rest
of
the
monsters.
It’s
such
a
peculiar
choice
to
base
a
game
on
an
IP
that
is
built
around
giant
monsters
causing
carnage
and
barely
use
said
monsters.
To
have
the
rampaging
beasts
as
a
backdrop
is
a
bold
choice
in
some
ways,
respecting
the
Godzilla
movie
heritage
where
the
human
stories
were
just
as
important
as
Godzilla
wrecking
shit.
But
since
Kong:
Survivor
Instinct
doesn’t
even
come
close
to
nailing
the
human
story,
we’re
left
a
boring
2.5D
metroidvania
where
the
titular
ape
barely
ever
shows
up.