The
Borderlands
movie
had
its
premiere
just
a
few
days
ago
in
Los
Angeles.
The
critics
that
have
seen
it
are
not
impressed.
As
soon
as
the
embargo
lifted,
many
of
them
flocked
to
social
media
to
voice
their
initial
thoughts.
Now
though,
the
full
reviews
are
flooding
in
and
they
do
not
paint
a
pretty
picture.

It’s
hardly
surprising
–
the
movie’s
trailers
didn’t
inspire
much
confidence,
either.
Director
Eli
Roth
doesn’t
have
a
stellar
track
record.
The
cast
is
full
of
big
names
like
Cate
Blanchett
and
Jack
Black.
However,
people
were
quick
to
point
out
that
they
were
all
rather…well,
old.
And
the
movie
spent
a
lot
of
time
in
development
hell
before
it
finally
emerged.

Movie
review
aggregator
Rotten
Tomatoes
currently
lists
27
reviews
for
the
movie,
granting
it
a
pitiful
4%
on
the
Tomatometer.

Dan
Jolin
penned
the
Empire
review
where
he
awarded
the
movie
2
stars
out
of
five.
He
discusses
how
the
film
feels
like
it
wants
to
be
Guardians
of
the
Galaxy
but
never
pulls
it
off.

Borderlands so wants to
be Guardians
Of
The
Galaxy.
“It
has
retro
needle
drops
aplenty
(including
a
battle
that
kicks
off
to
Motörhead’s
‘Ace
Of
Spades’)
and
ladles
on
as
much
out-there
violence
as
its
12A
rating
allows
(there’s
even
that
bit
where
they
kill
a
giant,
tentacled
monster
from
the
inside-out),
but
it
doesn’t
come
close
to
capturing
the
same Guardians space-magic.”
writes
Dan.

Dan
does
take
a
moment
to
praise
Cate
Blanchett
though,
who
seems
to
be
the
highlight
of
the
movie
for
many
a
reviewer.

Cynthia
Vinney
handled
the
review
for
Looper,
panning
the
film
with
a
3
out
of
10.
She
points
out
the
PG-13
rating
as
being
a
sore
point
for
the
movie.
She
also
mentions
that
the
film
itself
actually
seems
to
address
the
casting
criticisms,
even
mentioning
that
Cate
Blanchett’s
Lillith
is
quite
a
bit
older
than
her
game
counterpart.
“Roland
being
short
is
remarked
on
too.
What’s
not
clear
is
why
any
of
these
changes
were
made,
”
says
Vinney.

Vinney
also
describes
the
film
as
having
a
habit
of
telling,
not
showing.
“We’re
told
that
the
Eridians
were
aliens
who
died
out
and
left
really
cool
stuff,”
says
Cynthia.
“We’re
told
that
Tiny
Tina
is
a
clone.
We’re
told
that
Lilith’s
mother
left
her
with
Dr.
Tannis.
These
things
don’t
have
the
same
visceral
appeal
if
they
aren’t
shown
to
us,
and
as
a
result,
the
movie
misses
out
on
some
major
opportunities.”

Over
at
Backlot
Magazine,
Shakyl
Lambert
liked
the
movie
even
less.
He
gave
it
a
2
out
of
10.
He
hits
it
with
this
conclusion:
“Simply
put, Borderlands is
a
colossal
failure.
When
it
comes
to
video
game
movies,
the
hope
is
that
it
satisfies
long-time
fans
of
the
game
while
attracting
a
new
audience.
In Borderlands’
case,
it
fails
in
both
cases.
Long-time
fans
will
hate
it
due
to
how
it
fails
to
capture
even
a
bit
of
the
charm
of
the
games,
and
casual
fans
will
just
be
bored
and
go
rewatch Guardians
of
the
Galaxy instead.”

Delving
deeper
into
the
review,
Lambert
says
the
characters
are
“deeply
miscast
from
top
to
bottom”
and
then
decimates
the
movie
with
this
killer
line:
…it
all
just
looks
like
celebrities
participating
in
a
Borderlands-themed
escape
room
instead
of
an
actual
movie.”

The
only
positive
review
on
Rotten
Tomatoes
is
from

Youtuber
Grace
Randolph.
The
quote
on
Rotten
Tomatoes
from
her
review
reads:
“I’ve
never
played
the
games,
but
I
got
a
kick
out
of
Blanchett
starring
in
a
movie
like
this
–
and
doing
a
great
job!
I
do
wish
the
script
had
been
adjusted
a
bit
better
to
accommodate
her
age.
Blanchett
fans
will
enjoy
this,
not
sure
about
anytime
else.”

Notably
though,
Randolph’s
own
commentors
on
the
video
don’t
seem
overly
pleased
with
her
review.
Many
of
them
comments
are
directed
at
Grace
spending
much
of
her
time
talking
about
Cate
Blanchett
and
Joan
Crawford.
Other
comments
state
that
Grace
spends
a
lot
of
time
talking
around
whether
she
enjoyed
the
movie
or
not.

Finally,
Clarisse
Loughrey
of
the
Independent
decided
to
sum
up
the
movie
when
she
said:
“It’s
dragged
us
back
to
a
time
when
studios
used
to
make
these
with
all
the
grace
and
acuity
of
a
drunk
person
attempting
to
place
a
3am
chicken
nugget
order.”
Clearly
she
has
witnessed
my
Saturday
morning
escapades.
She
then
handing
it
a
1
out
of
5.
Damn,
Clarisse!

More
reviews
will
undoubtedly
trundle
in
as
the
movie
hits
theatres
proper
on
August
9
in
the
US,
so
there’s
some
hope
that
Borderlands
may
yet
do
well.
After
all,
it
would
not
be
the
first
time
fans
and
critics
have
been
divided
over
the
quality
of
a
movie.
But
honestly,
after
watching
the
trailers,
I
can’t
help
but
feel
the
critics
are
right
on
the
money
with
this
one.