Under the mattress was a vial with a cloudy liquid inside. I asked what it was and what was he doing with it. He admitted that he had been dissolving Xanax and/or Ambien and administering it to me while I slept. To me, this all ties in to the idea of enthusiastic consent. This means that consent is more than the absence of a “no”, but it’s actually a big, resounding “yes!” I think that enthusiastic consent should always be sought and discussed before any kind of sexual activity. If they do not stop, or exert emotional or other pressure and that person gives up and gives in, they are sexually assaulting that person.

Thanks to Heather for clearing up that issue about the frenulum being like the male clitoris. I remember reading that somewhere years ago, and rubbing my frenulum energetically for quite a while before I realized it really didn’t feel particularly good. Another (arguably more significant) nerve filled part of the penis is the ridged band.

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